Once a month I get together with a handful of college friends to talk over Google Meet. The topics of conversation range widely. COVID-19 has sparked more than its fair share of debates, but we’ve also tackled politics, race, free speech, conspiracy theories, and a wide range of other miscellaneous prompts.
My favorite so far? This doozy from the eclectic imagination of my buddy Kevin: Debate the merits of a decentralized system that allows for automated hormone control for men.
We had a lot of fun with that one.
When I organized the first meeting last year, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would my friends be interested in meeting online for an hour and half with no concrete agenda? Or would coordinating busy schedules across different time zones prove too troublesome? Also, I wondered how it might affect our friendship? Delving into controversial topics isn’t without its risks.
Despite my apprehension, these online get-togethers have been proved immensely rewarding. The meetings haven’t been without their moments of heated disagreement. But it’s precisely these competing perspectives which makes the conversations interesting and energizing.
Through this experience, I’ve arrived at the hypothesis that most people are thirsty to engage in longer, deeper, more meaningful conversations. Perhaps that’s one reason why long-form podcasts have become so popular. They’re a refreshing reprieve from the algorithm-generated feeds on social media that reward hot-takes and short attention spans.
Long conversations are attractive because they feel more human. Without them, it’s impossible to make a real connection.
People are complicated. You need time to understand what they believe and why they believe it. Long face-to-face conversations are the only way you can really get to know how someone thinks and the intentions behind their words or actions.
Long conversations also open the door to speak freely in ways that you can’t, or wouldn’t, otherwise. When you’re talking aloud among a group of trusted friends, you can present alternative viewpoints that would be impossible to hash out on social media. You can say things that you yourself may not even agree with in the spirit of intellectual curiosity.
Relationships are more difficult to maintain this year due to the pandemic. Still, I’m thankful that we have technology to meet online.
Conversations are so important to human connection, empathy, and understanding. We need that now more than ever.
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