The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t

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3 Sentence Summary

The No Asshole Rule is a book that we all can relate to at one point or another in our career – working with a mean-spirited employee or a boss that just doesn’t get it. Dr. Sutton helps us define who in our organization is a true “asshole” and then gives us recommendations for enforcing rules against demeaning and counter-productive behavior. In the end, this book also asks us to evaluate our own “asshole” tendencies and gives us a roadmap for building a culture of respect in our organizations.

5 Key Takeaways

1. Learn to identify asshole behavior in yourself and others. (1) They pump themselves up by making other people feel small. (2) They go after people who are less powerful.
2. Call out negativity in the workplace. It is toxic and contagious.
3. Always communicate “we” instead of “me.”
4. Happiness is the difference between what you expect and what you get.
5. Working in an asshole-free environment starts by taking a hard look at myself.

The No Asshole Rule Summary

What Workplace Assholes Do and Why You Know So Many

• A no asshole policy is not a no friction policy. There are virtues in conflict.
• The difference between how a person treated the powerless versus the powerful is a great measure of human character

Asshole Test

1. After talking to the alleged asshole, does the “target” feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself?
2. Does the alleged asshole aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those people who are more powerful?

The Damage Done: Why Every Workplace Needs the Rule

• Negative interactions have a 5X stronger effect on mood than positive interactions
• When fear rears its ugly head, people focus on protecting themselves, not on helping their organizations improve
• When people feel mistreated and dissatisfied with their jobs, they are unwilling to do extra work to help their organizations

Costs Incurred by Assholes

• Loss of motivation and energy at work
• Excessive turnover
• Reduced cooperation and cohesion
• Impaired ability to attract the best and brightest

How to Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive

• Embracing clichés like “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing” and “Second place means being the first loser,” often provide perverse justification for asshole behavior
• Employee performance must be closely tied to the treatment of others
• There needs to be zero tolerance for repeat offenders. Even if they do good work, if they routinely demean others in the process, they are incompetent
• You reduce the number of assholes and achieve better organizational performance when you reduce the differences between the highest and lowest-status members of your organization.
• The best groups and organizations – especially the most creative ones – are places where people know how to fight. 
• The only thing worse than too much confrontation is no confrontation at all.
• Fight as if you are right; listen as if you are wrong.
• Disagree and then commit – because second-guessing, complaining, and arguing after a decision is made saps effort and attention.
• Resist the temptation to apply the label (asshole) to anyone who annoys you or has a bad moment

The Top 10 Steps: Enforcing the No Asshole Rule

1. Say the rule, write it down, and act on it
2. Assholes will hire other assholes
3. Get rid of assholes fast
4. Treat certified assholes as incompetent employees
5. Power breeds nastiness
6. Embrace the power-performance paradox: Downplay the status differences within your organization
7. Manage moments – not just practices, policies, and systems: Focus on changing the little things that you and your people do
8. Model and teach constructive confrontation
9. Adopt the one asshole rule
10. Link big policies to small decencies

How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk” from Getting Out

• You’re allowed to walk away from negative environments
• Think and say “we” instead of “me”
• Notice all the things that you have in common with someone else before you hone in on the differences

When Assholes Reign: Tips for Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces

• If you can’t escape a source of stress, change your mind-set about what is happening to you. Reframe. Avoid self blame. Hope for the best but expect the worst. Develop indifference.
• Learned optimism: When people view difficulties as temporary and not their fault, and as something that will not pervade and ruin the rest of their lives, this frame protects their mental and physical health and enhances their resilience.
• Happiness = What you expect – What you actually get
• Passion is an overrated virtue in organizational life, and indifference is an underrated virtue
• Look for small wins. Trying to solve a big problem all at once can be so daunting and upsetting that it causes people to feel anxious and powerless in the face of an impossible challenge
• Communication via the web can often exacerbate disagreements and misunderstandings. Talking face to face is often the best way to resolve conflict.

The Virtues of Assholes

• Expressing anger, even nastiness, can be an effective method for grabbing and keeping power
• Nastiness and intimidation are especially effective for vanquishing competitors
• If you demean your people to motivate them, alternate it with (at least occasional) encouragement and praise
• Create a “toxic tandem.” If you are nasty, team up with someone who can calm people down, clean up your mess, and extract favors and extra work from people 
• Being all asshole, all the time, won’t work

Why Assholes Fool Themselves

• The organization is effective despite rather than because you are a demeaning jerk
• You mistake your successful power grab for organizational success
• The new is bad, but people only tell you good news
• People put on an act when you are around
• People work to avoid your wrath rather than to do what is best for the organization
• You are being charged “asshole taxes” but just don’t know it
• Your enemies are silent (for now), but the list keeps growing

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